... Logan ...
part 01
Logan doesn't belong anywhere, not at a specific map spot anyway. It's been a long time since he had a place that he called home. Having a home doesn't matter when it comes down to it. His work keeps him on the road, the road keeps him sane and sanity keeps him alive.
Frustrated, he brushes dirty blonde hair from his forehead and lets out a long sigh. The desert is hot and even with the windows down the sweat is beading on his skin already. He's only been driving for an hour. The air blowing in the window is like breath down his shoulder and makes the cab too close for comfort. With dark brown eyes scanning the road ahead he flips through images of the last few days in his mind - watching it all with a bewildered smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. It's all so crazy. If it hadn't happened to him he doubted he would believe any of it.
Logan shifts in his seat, tugging the leg of his jeans down then runs his finger over his iPod to turn up the song that's playing. The man in black, one of those voices that makes Logan believe anyone can be a singer if they have the right words.
run on for a long time
if you can run on for a long time
sooner or later god will cut you down
oh sooner or later god will cut you down, down
He pushes up his sunglasses and rubs his eyes - the air is so full of dust his eyes feel like they're grating every time he blinks.
Shaking his head and dropping his sunglasses back to his nose Logan pulls over to the side of the road, slams the truck in park and turns off the engine. Silence is there immediately. An unexpected memory of his mother surges forward, walking hand in hand with her; she tells him that if he's very quiet he can hear the silence. He spends most of the day listening for the silence ... never quite understanding what she meant but knowing there's something out there that he's missing. He was so young then. Shaking off the unwanted image he slides his long legs out of the truck and arches his back to stretch away the last hour of road. Leaning back against the truck he scans the road behind him. There's no one as far as he can see but that doesn't soothe his nerves. It's never what he can see that he's afraid of. He pulls the front of his t-shirt away from his slick body thinking how great it would be to have a cold shower and a beer. His muscles are aching - ever ready - paused - it's like being stuck.
He runs his hand across his mouth fiercely wiping away words he wants to scream into the slow moving wind. Climbing back into the truck is brutal punishment but he knows there are so many miles to go. He starts the engine once more, smiling briefly as it roars to life. The smile slides off his face quickly. Slamming his foot down on the gas pedal he peels back onto the highway kicking up a cloud of dust and rocks. As the engine gears down he hears the last words of the song playing ...
working in the dark against your fellow man
but as sure as God made black and white
what's down in the dark will be brought to the light
"Fuck you," he thinks. 'FUCK YOU!' he yells out the window.
story and words and photos Copyright Charlotte Kinzie 2009.
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